Dear Weekend,
I am confused. We had such potential to make it work. Unfortunately you have left me feeling hot and cold. Where, weekend, did we go wrong? Did we, in fact go wrong? Like all those left in the dark, I am searching for answers to the things that keep me up at night and make me vomit a little in my mouth when I get consumed by them.
--Dancing? Could that not have happened? Usually I am of the belief that the first party of the year is pretty amazing without even trying, especially when Canfield pickes a theme that freshman can get all jazzed about. Let's look at the party:
--Supermodels vs. Superheores. Not great, but clever and leaves alot of room for general costume making for the not entirely comitted.
--This being my last first-party-of-the-year (yes, I am experiencing the "oh god I'm never going to do this again" syndrome that plagues most emotional undergraduate students), I was excited to make something of it. Usually I am very good (and very comitted if I may say) at costuming for theme parties. This night, however, I took everything out of my drawers, tried some shit, got pissed off, and gave up. I ended up putting shit tons of eye makeup on (so that perhaps in the dark I might look like a raccoon), and getting Jess to scrawl something on a t-shirt w/ sharpie. Front: don't feed the models. Back: JUST FEED ME. I'm really funny, right?
--The party came after a long, LONG day of callbacks where I sat in VAPA from 2-9:45, mostly waiting around. And when I did read, I didn't have any energy at all. I listened to girls sing show tunes, watched an awesome but brief storm, and met some nice new people I didn't know before. I left feeling like maybe I had actually blown it, when previously I felt fairly confidant about the payoff.
--Music? It wasn't very loud, A, and B, what the crap? I'm not picky when it comes to dancing, but this selection was not cutting it. Not very good beats, not very recognizable songs, too long, boring, and audibly apathetic about making people shake it. I was also wasted, but this is what I remember. Sorry, guys.
--I sort of danced. Sort of. I kept losing the people I was with, and couldn't commit to getting sweaty and pumped up like usual. I mostly did that shuffle-like-you-want-to-mean-it dance until I gave up. I was also wasted, but this is what I remember.
--Since I don't really have a "personal bubble" I lost all sense that anyone else might and was really touchy and gropy to various random people all night. A good party-goer this does not make.
--Bill and I chugged alot of Vodka in his room throughout the night, which was cute and romantic, and we played songs that we wished we could hear at the party (he's obsessed with that effing Fergie song, London-whatever-it's-called).
--I followed not one, but several pairs of people around all night, who clearly wanted to go hook up, and I clearly didn't get it. At one point two of them were going into a room and I was like "awesome you guys, going to hang out, huh?" and they we're like "uh, yeah" and shut the door in my face. Movie moment. Another pair I followed around involved two people I didn't even know, and didn't even speak to the entire time. I was just really fascinated by them and what they were doing eventhough they were doing the same thing as everyone else. Well, that's selective storytelling, but whatever. I don't know what happened to the other couples but I imagine they managed to lurk off when I wasn't looking and go do it somewhere.
--I went to Ben's room to find Rich standing at the door saying "I know what I heard". I looked in to find five or so of them staring at the floor trying to deny whatever it was he was accusing them of. They kept saying "we were just punching eachother for fun, that's all", and Rich was saying "no you weren't, where is it?" Eventually a stun gun was handed over and someone is probably in alot of trouble.
--We all proceeded to drink more vodka, and Ben kept playing air guitar with a broom, and everyone was crashing into eachother and most of them writhed around on the floor, and maybe there was some Bon Jovi or some Slayer being played. Whatever it was was loud and amazing. Somehow Andy started bleeding (his foot I think?), and everything got out of control. He was flinging blood everywhere, on the wall, spattered across the ceiling, ALL OVER the floor. The last thing I remember was sitting on the bed, looking down at my bare legs, which were COMPLETELY covered in blood thinking about how weird and awesome everything was. And that was it. Then I just passed out and fell asleep right there.
--Then I woke up and decided not to go to a call-back since I was pretty certain he wasn't going to cast me. Then I later felt bad about it and decided I probably should have gone.
--I took a shower. I obviously, really needed to take a shower.
--Taco night. Plus. I didn't get to eat much and felt gross post fake-cheese. Minus.
--Spent alot of the night trying to make a dance inspired by a found peice of 'nature', since this is clearly the kind of work you do when you go to expensive colleges. Eventually, the "form" of my poisonous berry could not be found.
--Spent even more of the night waiting for cast lists to go up. AND I DID IT. I FUCKING DID IT. My educaiton has paid off now that I get to play such an important fucking role. I got it. This is actually alot more excting than I'm making it sound, but I'm really tired, so I'll have to hype it up later.
--Dewey and Canfield pulled an amazing prank that I think we got more excited about than the people we were trying to freak out. We went into the Booth Living room while they were all sleeping, set up Ben's amp, and sat there in the dark holding lighters while he shredded. It was hillarious magic. Unfortunately, people either stayed in their rooms or came in and started dancing and taking pictures. The desired effect of freaking them out / pissing them off didn't really happen, but it was amazing none the less. Again, understated due to tiredness.
--But then, also, weekend, you gave me one of those "puke in your mouth" moments out of nowhere and I was taken by surprise. The shittiness of which A, I don't care to get into, and B, will eventually go away so there's no point.
--Then I had to unpack the rest of my crap (why, why do I have SO MUCH crap????????????????), which took about a year and a half to do, and afforded me enough thinking time to reflect and get confused about the weekend.
Judging form the pros and cons of those events I guess I would have to say that overall, not actually that bad. The play is probably the most exciting thing to happen to me in the last couple of academic years. And I do like pranks. So really, I guess, when it comes down to it, I'm not in the dark at all. But maybe next time, weekend, you could try a little harder to bring the dance jams, since I am more than prepared to bring the sweet moves. Oh, and try to remind me that I am an adult, and not all crappy things need to cause me to feel crappy. Give Mama some mature integrity. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Carlee
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