4.30.2012
4.13.2012
Dear: Calling My Blog Back+ Our House
So this is a lot like the times when I haven't spoken to someone in a while and all these things are happening and they call me to catch up and I keep being like "I should call So n So back and catch up", and then I don't and then MORE stuff happens and I keep not calling them back and then finally SO MUCH stuff has happened, half of which sounds really boring once I stop to think about it, and the idea of finally calling them back is SO DAUNTING I just can't bring myself to do it. Pretty much everyone I've been in a long distance friendship with has been on the other end of this with me (amiright?). It's really hard for me to break the stupid pattern. For whatever reason it's like, really fucking hard. Well, writing on this blog has been exactly like that. Catching up is so daunting I won't do it. But then I started to think about it, and I kind of realized "who even cares?". Probably no one. Probably no one is sitting around lamenting the lack of my interweb diatribes about events and ideas. Yup. Welp. That realization made it a lot easier to just "pick up the phone and call my blog back".
The last thing I said was that shit was crazy with our new house. That I was so stressed I was crawling out of my skin. And yes, that was true. That was totally happening. Now I find it hard to engage in a level of stress that even comes close to what I was experiencing at that time. It was ridiculous. And also it was, on an intellectual level, sort of unwarranted. I say "unwarranted" because the terribleness of the situation did not change the fact that we had already bought a house (yeah you guys, bought a house) and that that accomplishment was amazing no matter what, and no matter what happened it would eventually be fine. But here's the deal about that level of stress: it does not come from an intellectual place. It is completely emotional and spawned out of sheer panic and not knowing what to do as a result of being in a totally new situation. A lot of why that situation sucked so badly was that we had a lot of things to learn, very quickly, and absolutely no experience in our lives was relevant enough to be a helpful tool. 100% gigantic new experience.
At any rate, the good news is that the massive hole that was dug around our foundation--exposing a retaining wall that was then cracking and caving in, compromising the safety of our house and the foundation of the neighbor's house--has been filled in. The bad news is that our basement--the original issue which was quickly made less important by the massive hole--still leaks. And ultimately we didn't know that we were buying a house with a leaky basement, so that's a pretty raw deal. And for anyone wondering, our basement is not a dingy hole. It is half of our house. You might as well think of it as a "downstairs". And we live in Seattle. Where it rains 75% of the time. So, not very ideal situation there. Fixing this leak is a six-figure problem and we are a long way from having a six-figure answer, so it's something we are going to have to live with for a while. Weather I like it or not (I don't). Moving forward has been, and will continue to be, an exercise in changing the way I feel about problems I can't fix. I detest when there is a problem I can't fix. Basically all I like to do is solve problems. So this ever-leaky basement is a gentle reminder that some problems take time and a little surrender. Ugh. Was that glass-half-full enough for you?
Who wants to hear about our leaky basement anymore? NOT ME! At any rate, that's what that was. And I'm back.
Xo
The last thing I said was that shit was crazy with our new house. That I was so stressed I was crawling out of my skin. And yes, that was true. That was totally happening. Now I find it hard to engage in a level of stress that even comes close to what I was experiencing at that time. It was ridiculous. And also it was, on an intellectual level, sort of unwarranted. I say "unwarranted" because the terribleness of the situation did not change the fact that we had already bought a house (yeah you guys, bought a house) and that that accomplishment was amazing no matter what, and no matter what happened it would eventually be fine. But here's the deal about that level of stress: it does not come from an intellectual place. It is completely emotional and spawned out of sheer panic and not knowing what to do as a result of being in a totally new situation. A lot of why that situation sucked so badly was that we had a lot of things to learn, very quickly, and absolutely no experience in our lives was relevant enough to be a helpful tool. 100% gigantic new experience.
At any rate, the good news is that the massive hole that was dug around our foundation--exposing a retaining wall that was then cracking and caving in, compromising the safety of our house and the foundation of the neighbor's house--has been filled in. The bad news is that our basement--the original issue which was quickly made less important by the massive hole--still leaks. And ultimately we didn't know that we were buying a house with a leaky basement, so that's a pretty raw deal. And for anyone wondering, our basement is not a dingy hole. It is half of our house. You might as well think of it as a "downstairs". And we live in Seattle. Where it rains 75% of the time. So, not very ideal situation there. Fixing this leak is a six-figure problem and we are a long way from having a six-figure answer, so it's something we are going to have to live with for a while. Weather I like it or not (I don't). Moving forward has been, and will continue to be, an exercise in changing the way I feel about problems I can't fix. I detest when there is a problem I can't fix. Basically all I like to do is solve problems. So this ever-leaky basement is a gentle reminder that some problems take time and a little surrender. Ugh. Was that glass-half-full enough for you?
Who wants to hear about our leaky basement anymore? NOT ME! At any rate, that's what that was. And I'm back.
Xo
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