Having been back home in Seattle since the 20th I have done almost and actually pretty accurately nothing. After meditating and sitting around/ domesticating for the past week and a half I have decided to commemorate it with a list of my former "interests" and a survey I pulled from James on Myspace. Oh the Holliday Season...
Dogs, Fun+Friendship, Seattle, tacos, roofs, the middle space of everything, headphones, calling coke a cola "pepsi", 6:30-10:30 at night, August, September, mixes, mixed drinks, beer that costs more than two dollars, poker, porn, walks, high fives, dancing, watching people do what they're good at, nostalgia, car trips, train trips, hippie parties, theme parties, grown up summer camp, bbqs, overalls, countryside, humans, funny neuroses, nail bitting, spandex, the harpsichord, Iceland, sparkles, waking up early, staying up for the good parts. .............ADDITIONALLY.......................dogs with underbites and crooked jaws, rose oil, life-like-movie-soundtracks, writing crooked, thesaureses, riding horses (Western only, forget English), Timigun, rain at 4:00, note writing, bike riding (RIP Little Pink Bike), ballads for 40 year olds, other people's Karaoke, day trips, spooning, stand-up comedy to fall asleep to, school busses, puddles, girls who draw on their jeans, all the Security Guards, card games, family functions, motor homes, lakes, maps, Jolt soda, sitting at dinner, anticipation, hanging out with cows, rednecks, cities like Balitmore in October, Halloween, friendly bees, photographs from the turn of the millenium, late night talks, good plays, Sam Sheppard, still moments, tin can telephones, Hemmingway, scarves, modern mix tapes, organization (so new), growing out the lesbian hair, the truth, eloquence, hands, mamas, girls with boy underwear, places I used to live, smoking, fake hikes, Dawson's Creek, putting all the little peices together to make a Charles Wysoki puzzle my grandmother will help me build. Bravery. Ice skating on frozen lakes. ferris wheels. NOVEMBER LIKES: Turkeys, Thanksgiving (never forget), Twin Cities, boots, other people's families, young boys, holding hands, Kevin's Drawings, accessorizing shit, "the Cat", snow, finding a place to live, pit bulls, breakfast, jump roping, laying in bed for as much of the day as possible, invisible tattoos, big words I don't know the meaning to, Florida in 1998, Los Feliz, learing how to pack for Thanksgiving vacations.
How do you take your steak?
Well done, with ketchup, like grandma used to make.
Who was the last person to call you?
My Man
To text you?
Kevvie
To send you a Myspace message?
Err...Brent. Yes, Brent.
Do you still talk to your ex?
sometimes
Last person you rode in a car with?
Jeremy...and bomb burritoes
Have you ever been to Oregon?
I lived in Portland, and drove through the rest of it.
What is the last type of shampoo you used?
Seriously? Umm...Garnier I think, or some organic thing my mom has that smells like cardboard.
Do you have Cingular?
No, I have Verizon which is almost as reliable as a donkey speaking Portuguiese.
Last person's house you were in?
...My...mom's? Otherwise, oh God, umm, I think the Juggernaut...a week and a half ago.
What is your dad's middle name?
Technically Orville, but don't tell anyone.
Are you wearing makeup?
I didn't even get dressed today.
Last person you sent a text message to?
Kev
Last movie watched?
Ohhh, well, I saw this thing on Lifetime, but before that I guess it would have been Me You and Everyone We Know, which was....
Do you like to ski?
Do I like to eat it?
Ever met anyone famous?
Local famous or global famous? Yes, I guess so. Psst...famous people seem a lot more normal in person. Unless they're dicks.
What instant messaging service do you use?
None, biatch.
Last person to call you just to chat?
Kevie.
Where is your dad?
Tacoma.
When did you last cry?
Two days ago I believe, but we've had some close calls while watching Scrubs, or thinking of flights to Mineappolis.
Are you wearing pajamas?
Sweat pants? Funny Shirts? Shit yeah.
Have you ever been to Hawaii? If so, which parts?
No.
Who is your 5th contact in your cell phone?
What does that mean?
What is your favorite number?
I always thought it was 24, like my birtday and Ken Griffey Jr, but you, know, what are numbers anyway?
Most hated food?
Oysters? For real, I puked.
How many animals did you pet today?
2, but one was a cat and the only one who really matters is my she-dog. She's a lump. We spoon.
Who was your favorite teacher when you were a freshman?
In...high school? Ms. Smith. Drama, giant hair, possible addictions, what can you do.
What are you worried about?
more things than I would like.
Have you ever had a panic attack?
Yes.
Last beverage you drank?
wine.
What do you smell like right now?
probably my dog and...and pizza? I'm a real catch.
How old are your siblings?
18 and amazing
12.29.2006
12.18.2006
The Only Living Boy In New York
I'm graduated and in New York.
Playing a 12 year old boy.
If you didn't see the reading on Friday and have any desire to see it, you can, tomorrow, Tuesday. The play is The History of Invulnerability, it's at 8, at the Public, and it's free. Come early to get on the wait list since "allegedly" it's sold out. The play is amazing. Additionally, god only knows it may be the only time I get to preform in New York. But I digress...
I have barely been able to stop and breathe in the past week, and as a result dinking beer and eating a Turkey sandwich last night with friends felt pretty amazing. Also, as a result, I am now sleeping waaaay too much.
But. I'm graduated. And in New York.
Playing a 12 year old boy.
If you didn't see the reading on Friday and have any desire to see it, you can, tomorrow, Tuesday. The play is The History of Invulnerability, it's at 8, at the Public, and it's free. Come early to get on the wait list since "allegedly" it's sold out. The play is amazing. Additionally, god only knows it may be the only time I get to preform in New York. But I digress...
I have barely been able to stop and breathe in the past week, and as a result dinking beer and eating a Turkey sandwich last night with friends felt pretty amazing. Also, as a result, I am now sleeping waaaay too much.
But. I'm graduated. And in New York.
12.03.2006
Dear Avoidance
After staying awake until 6:30 in the morning and writing all day I have come to the conclusion that I have to embrace and accept the fact that for the next little while, I will, on no uncertain terms, slightly loose my mind. The future is wide open, the sky is the limit, Tom Petty is a stoner, and I am going to be tired, confused, emotional, and weird until I have a job and a place to live in January. Hence-therefore, I'm filling out this pointless survey I copied from Airin on myspace because I cannot, by any means, make more play-making at this juncture.
24 random questions and 24 random answers
1. I've come to realize: that I don't, in fact have the answers to most of the questions/problems I try and convince myself that I do, and that my need for control is actually a lot stronger than I had originally thought.
2. I am listening to: my fan. And the loud, incessant clicking of the keyboard, which is one of the last functional aspects of my computer.
3. I talk: a lot of game? No, I talk not enough about what I am really thinking and far too much about what I think other people would like to think I am thinking. Think about it.
4. I love: laying in a good bed, courage, the Sea, Neverland (the place, not this blog), car trips, kissing, all dogs, Dustin Hoffman, make believe, tacos & burritos, humans, and love (had to go there).
5. My best friend(s): are my family in which there is no divorce.
6. My first real kiss: was forced on me by Joey in the back seat of Ashley Brown's car.
7. I hate it when people: are unnecessarily rude, chew with their mouth open, don't try, throw other people's feelings around like they don't matter, say the word "like" too much.
8. Love is: Ha-Hah. Love is...One giant idiom.
9. Marriage is: not as respected as it should be.
10. Somewhere, someone is thinking: was she joking or was that serious?
11. I'll always: get emotional in embarrassing moments, and make perverted jokes that kill the conversation, and do funny dances, and have hope. Seriously? I will always have hope. And belch inappropriately. I will probably also do that.
12. I have a secret crush on: Secret? Define secret. Crush? Define crush. The only real life "crush" I have is not a secret. But oh, um, I guess maybe that guy who works at that new-ish "hip" bar on Capitol hill, that bar, you know, the one where all the apathetic 20somethings go to throw peanut shells on the ground and judge each other? What's it called--the Elkhead or the Buckanner or the Pinewood--no, no, Redwood, yeah, the guy that works at the Redwood and has the really hot girlfriend. Yeah, him.
13.(A) The last time I cried was: this morning before I fell asleep.
13.(B). because: where I want there to exist black and white options there is only a bunch of grey shit that I seem to only add to as time goes on despite my severely dedicated struggles at making things good. I was especially good at this, and alienating someone I wished not to alienate, last night.
14. My cell phone: has fallen from various high surfaces and when it vibrates it sounds like Katharine Hepburn having a seizure.
15. When I wake up in the morning: I stuff my phone under my pillow and go back to dreaming about World War III.
16. Before I go to sleep at night: I walk through the next day and wish it wasn't so lonely going to sleep.
17. Right now I am thinking about: well, now I'm just thinking about this. Before I think I was thinking about Caddyshack (and more specifically Bill Murray), and spooning, and why my leg hair grows the way it does, and why I keep having bad dreams about the end of the (my) world, and what would be the perfect sound for me to fall asleep to. And the truth is, I just don't know yet.
18. Babies are: too often made to fix things, tater tots that grow up to be dysfunctional adults, like dogs except, as previously stated, they grow up to be emotionally fucked up adults where as dogs, well, they just remain dogs.
19. I get on MySpace: and continually see the same "new event invitation" slash "new birthdays" announcement that never goes away. And I wonder if Rupert Murdoch is watching me.
20. Today I: woke up from nightmares, drank ginger ale, wrote for about a million and a half years, apologized, wrastled with Kevin for about a million and a half years, roasted a marshmallow, looked around at the people in my house and almost cried over the love I felt for them (yeah, I know, it's like constant period time), danced to songs from great contemporary artists like Matchbox 20, hung out in the Security Booth, avoided making business related choices, almost spit on my computer because everything in it is shutting down, looked for nostalgic things on eBay that I will never buy, researched tourettes, got interviewed about lying, ate copious amounts of taco related foods, wore ear muffs, rolled cigarettes, thought about my future and wanted to pee myself, thought about calling my friends, realized I have to wake up in 4 hours.
21. Tonight I will: stop doing this and think about my day tomorrow and try not to panic and cuddle my purple penguin.
22. Tomorrow I will: More of the same from today, but with a lot less avoiding things. And I will finish my play and try, try to nap.
23. I really want: help, a job, to be spooned, more faith (not in the world around me but in myself), more clothes (thought I'd throw that in there)
24. The person who most likely to repost this is: Sarah McLaughlin. Please let it be her.
Goodnight Moon.
24 random questions and 24 random answers
1. I've come to realize: that I don't, in fact have the answers to most of the questions/problems I try and convince myself that I do, and that my need for control is actually a lot stronger than I had originally thought.
2. I am listening to: my fan. And the loud, incessant clicking of the keyboard, which is one of the last functional aspects of my computer.
3. I talk: a lot of game? No, I talk not enough about what I am really thinking and far too much about what I think other people would like to think I am thinking. Think about it.
4. I love: laying in a good bed, courage, the Sea, Neverland (the place, not this blog), car trips, kissing, all dogs, Dustin Hoffman, make believe, tacos & burritos, humans, and love (had to go there).
5. My best friend(s): are my family in which there is no divorce.
6. My first real kiss: was forced on me by Joey in the back seat of Ashley Brown's car.
7. I hate it when people: are unnecessarily rude, chew with their mouth open, don't try, throw other people's feelings around like they don't matter, say the word "like" too much.
8. Love is: Ha-Hah. Love is...One giant idiom.
9. Marriage is: not as respected as it should be.
10. Somewhere, someone is thinking: was she joking or was that serious?
11. I'll always: get emotional in embarrassing moments, and make perverted jokes that kill the conversation, and do funny dances, and have hope. Seriously? I will always have hope. And belch inappropriately. I will probably also do that.
12. I have a secret crush on: Secret? Define secret. Crush? Define crush. The only real life "crush" I have is not a secret. But oh, um, I guess maybe that guy who works at that new-ish "hip" bar on Capitol hill, that bar, you know, the one where all the apathetic 20somethings go to throw peanut shells on the ground and judge each other? What's it called--the Elkhead or the Buckanner or the Pinewood--no, no, Redwood, yeah, the guy that works at the Redwood and has the really hot girlfriend. Yeah, him.
13.(A) The last time I cried was: this morning before I fell asleep.
13.(B). because: where I want there to exist black and white options there is only a bunch of grey shit that I seem to only add to as time goes on despite my severely dedicated struggles at making things good. I was especially good at this, and alienating someone I wished not to alienate, last night.
14. My cell phone: has fallen from various high surfaces and when it vibrates it sounds like Katharine Hepburn having a seizure.
15. When I wake up in the morning: I stuff my phone under my pillow and go back to dreaming about World War III.
16. Before I go to sleep at night: I walk through the next day and wish it wasn't so lonely going to sleep.
17. Right now I am thinking about: well, now I'm just thinking about this. Before I think I was thinking about Caddyshack (and more specifically Bill Murray), and spooning, and why my leg hair grows the way it does, and why I keep having bad dreams about the end of the (my) world, and what would be the perfect sound for me to fall asleep to. And the truth is, I just don't know yet.
18. Babies are: too often made to fix things, tater tots that grow up to be dysfunctional adults, like dogs except, as previously stated, they grow up to be emotionally fucked up adults where as dogs, well, they just remain dogs.
19. I get on MySpace: and continually see the same "new event invitation" slash "new birthdays" announcement that never goes away. And I wonder if Rupert Murdoch is watching me.
20. Today I: woke up from nightmares, drank ginger ale, wrote for about a million and a half years, apologized, wrastled with Kevin for about a million and a half years, roasted a marshmallow, looked around at the people in my house and almost cried over the love I felt for them (yeah, I know, it's like constant period time), danced to songs from great contemporary artists like Matchbox 20, hung out in the Security Booth, avoided making business related choices, almost spit on my computer because everything in it is shutting down, looked for nostalgic things on eBay that I will never buy, researched tourettes, got interviewed about lying, ate copious amounts of taco related foods, wore ear muffs, rolled cigarettes, thought about my future and wanted to pee myself, thought about calling my friends, realized I have to wake up in 4 hours.
21. Tonight I will: stop doing this and think about my day tomorrow and try not to panic and cuddle my purple penguin.
22. Tomorrow I will: More of the same from today, but with a lot less avoiding things. And I will finish my play and try, try to nap.
23. I really want: help, a job, to be spooned, more faith (not in the world around me but in myself), more clothes (thought I'd throw that in there)
24. The person who most likely to repost this is: Sarah McLaughlin. Please let it be her.
Goodnight Moon.
Dear take that
I'm about to go into something bigger. If you had any sence you would come back and be here now. My mom says I'm something special--something like Sigfried and Roy but without the tigers. Something like James Taylor but without the fan base, but with all the metaphors of tools and mountains...
DEAR LOOMING DECEMBER
"Come to South Carolina," she said, "and I'll teach you how to talk to the tigers." And I was in love.
Yes. I still hold onto that bass I can't play. I will try and play it anytime.
I got nothin'. Nothin' that's good anyway. I gots lots of other things if you're intersted...
Yes. I still hold onto that bass I can't play. I will try and play it anytime.
I got nothin'. Nothin' that's good anyway. I gots lots of other things if you're intersted...
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