When I was 12 Alanis Morissette released "Ironic" and I thought I understood what that song was about. She lists maybe 40 examples of irony so it makes it pretty easy to get. Plus, I listened to "Jagged Little Pill" so very regularly, so I was truly familiar with the ins and outs of her ironic tales. Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife = irony. You're like "so many spoons and it's totally the wrong utensil!". So. Irony. Man finally boards plane after years of fearing air travel and then dies in said plane when it crashes. Sad. Ironic. And so on and so forth. You were probably there. You remember. You likely also played pretend with your closest friends about who was which Alanis personality ridding around in that car (I was the squirmy dancy one in the back seat who eats some kind of snack she finds in her hair). Many years later, around the time "irony" made its serious debut into my life, people started remarking about this song "none of it is ironic. It's all just unfortunate coincidence".
I'm not stupid but I guess I figured Alanis Morissette wouldn't go around writing multi-plaitnum hits wrought with mis-information. Too trusting? Perhaps. Our bad, Alanis.
I distinctly remember my first experience with "new" or "cultural" irony. It was 2003, I was 20 years old and in college. There was a dance party in someone's room (as was the regular occurrence) and it was hot, loud, and full of good times. Someone was rotating through songs on a playlist and they were coming--hit after hit--making us all cheer and sing along like partying in a tiny room was something we had invented. A song ended. The next song came on. It was Phil Collins. People started mildly bopping around but I, in my bald and joyful sincerity, turned to my friend and shouted "YEAAAAAHHHH! I LOVE PHIL COLLINS!". My friend replied in the most casual of ways "Me too, but only ironically!".
What followed was a moment I have experienced thousands of times since then. There was a look passed to me that wanted to know if I, too, was in on the irony. It was a test with a silent question who's answer predicted everything that mattered about me in the social hierarchy. That one answer would determine if I "got it" and was therefore cool enough to be cool, or if I didn't because presumably I was a dweeb who didn't know anything about cutting the edge of the cutting edge and should be left to eat alone at meals. I failed the test that night. Having been in this situation for the first time I was confused and shouted back "Cool!" and continued dancing. Over time I learned that a new, mysterious movement was underway and as a means of hiding my embarrassing stupidity about what irony actually was, I started agreeing that I too liked things ironically. I did this for some years, never knowing exactly why we were saying it.
Another conversation, later, when I got bold enough to ask someone more about this "ironic" phenomenon.
Them: "So, take Journey [the band]."
Me: "ok."
Them: "You like Journey, right?"
Me: "Yeah."
Them: "But you don't actually like them."
Me: "Yes I do."
Them: "No, you don't. You like them because it's ironic."
Me: "I like them because I think their music is good."
Them: "No, you like them because it's ridiculous and you don't actually like them, but you just like listening to them because it's hilarious and ironic."
And that was about the best explanation I ever got on the matter. I like something because it's funny and I will spend my time doing/using/listening to this thing but not at all because I actually like it or believe in it. In fact, I don't really like it at all. I like not liking it and putting on a show of how much I fake like it.
HUH?
I will be totally honest that for years of my young twenties I stayed silent about things like this because assimilation mattered to me, acceptance was important, and I was insecure about not "getting" something that my peers seemed to be so in on. But now that I'm older and I don't give a shit about all that I'm going to come right out and say that that seems fucking RIDICULOUS to me.
We are a generation of people who made it our jobs to go around fake liking things, and essentially filled our lives full of stuff that didn't matter to us at all? Why would anyone do this? Isn't this just the grossest misuse of time? Aren't you just playing a joke mostly on yourself for being so wrapped up in things you don't care for? Furthermore, how can you even distinguish between what you like and what you like "ironically" when the two occupy your life to the seemingly same capacity? I'm still confused on this. My survival strategy through the first few years was to continue liking whatever I liked but say that I liked it ironically when someone asked and that was the "correct response". In the following few years I replied with things like "who cares" and "whatever, man". And finally, in the last few years I have gotten far enough away from it that it really doesn't come up all that often, but when it does I just ask "how is that ironic?".
I'm 30 and I don't get it. Everything I do I do because I actually believe in it. I listen to the music I do because it feels good and I enjoy it. I wear the clothes I wear because fashion is the funnest thing and whatever I'm wearing is my actual, genuine, whole-hearted taste in fashion. I have no idea why someone would waste their time doing otherwise. But irony, being so lumped in with the also ever-confusing culture of hipsterdom, is expected somehow of people who like cartoon t-shirts and Baz Lurhman songs. People now just assume I am in it for the irony. And I guess what bothers me the most about that is that I have no defense against it because I am, as I already said, confused by what it means.
Irony, according to dictionary.com (ultimate source, of course) is "the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning". Ok, I get that, kind of. It's sarcasm essentially. Sarcasm is fun, sarcasm has it's place. "OK," I'm thinking, "maybe I do understand irony.". I read about it on the internet. I discuss it with others. It seems hard to nail down but essentially comes back to being a large, social form of sarcasm. Leading me to believe:
Irony is a safeguard against bullying and criticism. It's a defense so no one makes fun of you for liking what you like. People who are genuine are the most vulnerable to alienation, being the receiving end of a joke, scorn, and torment. Irony makes you impenetrable.
Am I right, people? If all you dudes with your funky mustaches say you do it ironically because you fear being mocked, I urge you put down your pithy shield of irony and just come right out and believe in your funky mustache! If you are into drinking Fresca because it is a delicious and refreshing beverage I, for one, WILL NOT make fun of you for doing so. I will say "Yes! Right on! You are allowed to do that sincerely, because you are a human being with feelings and choices to make!". Tattooed adult ladies who like Taylor Swift can parade this as honestly as they please, because it does not make them less hip at the rock show or professional in the workplace, it just also means they enjoy sweet songs about puberty and heartbreak. (thank you, all the adult ladies) AND ANOTHER THING, asshole sitting at my bar, I wear overalls because I like them and have been wearing them literally since I had legs long enough for Osh Kosh and NO I don't at all get why that is ironic because "people in Portland are doing it or whatever", I'm pretty sure I do it with sincerity because my love of wearing overalls is sincere!
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| My dad told me I look cute. |
Am I wrong? Is irony not, in fact, a safeguard as I presume it is? Is it another thing entirely? If it is then someone please explain it to me.
We are all adults here. People should feel brave enough to like what they like and be who they are, and people should remember if they are being taunted for it then the bully likely has some insecurities of their own.
You do you.
A couple of months ago I told a friend about a tattoo I wanted. This friend is one of the coolest people I know so I was nervous to get her opinion. "I'm thinking...would it be neat if I got a tattoo that just said 'sincerity forever' or would that be too dorky?" My face did the thing where everything squeezes together and I brace myself for laughter and eye rolling. She presented me with a giant, full toothed smile and replied "I love that. It's like, the most you tattoo there is.".
So there you have it. Sincere sometimes despite myself. Sincere because I don't really know how else to be. I tried other ways: it sucked. You can be sincere and be funny. You can be sincere and be sharp. You can be sincere and laugh at yourself. You can be sincere and still use sarcasm. You can be sincere and wear bart simpson shirts (I'm doing it right now). You can be sincere and like Journey. And if you ever feel alone in that, just remember I'm out here flapping in the breeze, too.
