You know what I'm tired of? I'm tired of making predictions about things and being right, and never getting any credit for it.
That's right. I said it.
I predict trends, recycled trends, social trends, and trends no one but me cares enough to think about--and I'm almost always right. But rarely, IF EVER, does anyone turn to me and say "you're right, mama. you said it would happen, and it happened". Rarely if ever does anyone even believe me that I knew it was going to happen.
+ Scream 4? Predicted that.
+ Hipsters turning into hippies? Predicted that.
+ Supreme snobs and assholes deciding it is now cool to be nice and believe in love? Predicted that big time.
+ Flannel? Child, please.
+ People other than Japanese chicks making peace signs in photographs? No one believed that would be cool again, but I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE.
+ Photobooths and Mason jars being freaking everywhere? Who has two thumbs and fucking saw that one coming. Me.
+ Jumpers AKA playsuits AKA rompers AKA cameltoe shorts? Yep.
And those are just a few of the great many things I have predicted would make their way (back) into society that I was right about. And I want some credit.
So now I'm realizing that if I put it out there on the internet (aka series of tubes), there can be more accountability. NOW, when something I know is going to become popular again annoyingly and inevitably DOES, I can point to this blog and say "see???? I predicted that one coming!!! SEE?! I am a cultural prodigy!!!". And then you will be like "Wow, she really does get more annoying over time." And then I will say something about wanting to eat some beans. Cuz that's pretty much how that goes.
Without further adieu, so begins my genius foretelling of shit that's coming back.
+ Snapple & Arizona iced tea (and while we're at it, ALL iced tea. Like, tea, as a "thing". The old favorites will come back with financial avengance, and new, hip teas will appear. Then you will see hipsters drinking cans of tea like it's 1993, and then everyone will do it. Teavolution.)
+ Political Correctness (America is going to love getting touchy feely about labels again)
+ Mary Janes & Creepers & Airwalk shoes
+ Ska & Big Band music (this invites the inevitable rise in popularity of zoot suits and swing dancing. This is still pretty uncool, but it won't be for long)
+ Mix Tapes (and cassettes in general)
+ Music videos on television.
+ Chokers
+ RL Stine
+ Bodysuits and Jeans
+ Hair parted down the middle
+ Roller activities (blade, sk8, sk8board)
+ Being straight edge (black x's. It's a lifestyle, man).
+ Goth revolution!
+ PLAYDATES. This is just an inevitability since everyone our age is starting to crank out their own collection of tiny humans. Having babies plus being a social person means parent-child group dates. I'm sure everyone will be drinking a lot of juice or something lame like that. Maybe iced tea -- see above.
I'm going to go buy a lemon Snapple now,
Mama
2 comments:
Things that have already come back as cool: arizona iced tea and play dates. Reason I know this? All of the teenagers I work with (Arizona tea) and all of the kids I watch (play dates). I will anticipate the rest and give you full credit although i am not looking forward to RL Stine. too scary!
You know where half of those things have never stopped being cool? Bushwick. You know what is weird about Korea? It's like fashion is permanently frozen in the 80's, but then it just kind of evolved to a better 80's. Hard to explain. Also, I laughed so hard reading your list of things you'd predicted that you didn't get credit for that Joo-young had to come over and see what I was doing.
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